I'm not sure if it's my age, my confidence within myself, or something else entirely, but I've noticed that I'm no longer afraid to have an opinion on public channels about certain topics.

Maybe this is tied to my decision to self-publish. Or maybe I've just gotten tired of trying to be politically correct all the time that I'm losing sight of me.

Whatever the reason, I see this as both a good and bad thing.

It's good, because I'm being me and no longer hiding portions of myself that bleed into everything that I do. There are ways that I phrase things that always creep into my writing, because my writing is just my thoughts on paper… even if I'm writing in the voice of another character.

It's bad, because I'm opening up myself to the lynch mob. I could so easily say something that could be taken out of context, at which point, the "politically correct" mob would have a field day at my expense.

But that too can also be seen as a good thing, because I know that the people who get me will be willing to help me defend myself if a lynch mob ever attacks.

I can't please everyone, and I've stopped trying. Instead, I write what I feel needs to be said in the way that I feel my characters need to say it. I know that some readers might find the way I say things as offensive, but to quote my daughter: "That's a them problem, not a me problem."

One of my CliftonStrengths is Individualization

Some years ago, I took a CliftonStrengths test, trying to understand more about myself and how I view things. It was about trying to understand the way I tick, and how I can take advantage of my strengths, using them to my benefit.

For those who don't know, CliftonStrengths is a personality model developed by Gallup, designed to help people (and employers) understand what makes a person tick and where their "talents" might lie. (And yes, CliftonStrengths is written as one word.) It's an insane number of questions that you need to answer, but with the magic of psychology and statistics, they are able to determine your strengths profile. The reports give you detailed notes of your top strengths and how you might use those strengths to your advantage.

My top five CliftonStrengths were (in this order):

• Learner
• Individualization
• Achiever
• Activator
• Relator

Basically, I get a kick out of learning new things. But it's not about the knowledge I gain. It's the process of learning that really does it for me. That's the Learner.

I don't like putting people into boxes. I see people as individuals and judge them based on their own merits. It turns out that this is the Individualization trait. (I will grant you that when I first saw Individualization on my list, I thought it meant that I was my own person doing my own thing, not wanting to be in a group or team, but nope. It's about how we create unique boxes for each individual we meet, because nothing can be one-size-fits-all and look good on everyone.)

I strive for greatness—sometimes to my own detriment. Everything needs to be perfect (or at least to a high standard). And this is the Achiever.

But I'm also a person who likes to see action. Planning is something that is a weakness, but give me a plan, and I'll make it happen. This is the Activator.

And I'm a person who works to forge meaningful relationships—with a gift of turning complete strangers into friends. This is the Relator.

For anyone who really knows me, they will be able to 100% see all of those traits in me… and they will laugh out loud when they learn that Learner and Achiever are part of my top five strengths. But it's the Individualization that has really created this say-what's-on-my-mind trait.

Because I refuse to put people in predetermined categories, I'm interacting with people as I see them—as an individual. But that wanting to interact with people as individuals goes both ways.

And hence the filter is slipping.

Who cares if people don't like my humor? Those who want to know me for "me" will come around eventually.

If I feel you need a pick-me-up, I'll happily be that cheerleader for you… but not because you asked me to. I do it because I want to.

And if I feel that you are being an idiot and need to pull your head in—maybe take that carrot out of your ass… Yep, I'll say that too.

I have a lot of respect for those who tell me when I'm being an asshole. It's the ones who act all sweet (sugary sweet) that I get suspicious of. There are many ways that they will turn around and stab you in the back. At least the ones who are blunt and honest will come at you head-on.

And if I really think about it. It's this last point that is likely the reason why my filter is slipping more and more each day. Because as long as I'm honest with you, you'll see me coming for you and know when you need to run for the hills.

Politically correct? Or respectful and polite?

I grew up in a world where PC stood for personal computer. As far as I'm concerned, that's what it still stands for. Occasionally, I will acknowledge that being PC also refers to being politically correct.

However, being politically correct is not the same thing as being respectful and kind to others—far from it. One can use politically correct terms but still be an asshole to others. Not only that, the politically correct verbiage seems to change faster than we can keep up.

Once upon a time, the word gay meant "happy and joyful." It still means that, but in the 1940s, it took on the meaning of "homosexual." And for a while there, no one could use the word gay for anything, for fear that we would be misunderstood. And now… Well…

The chances of being misunderstood are still there, but the lynch mob is no longer standing by with their pitchforks. They seem to have their sights on other words now—other words that seem to have multiple meanings.

Yes, I believe it is wise to be aware that the things we say can have different meanings and invoke different responses from different people. But isn't that part of the fun of being a writer? The best writing out there has layers upon layers of meaning… and it develops more layers over time as our viewpoints of the world shift. That's how certain pieces of literature have managed to last the test of time: they have layers of meaning!

But in our efforts to become more inclusive within our society, we have now taken to sanitizing our writing, removing any terms or phrases that others might find offensive. But what term or phrase should we target? I can guarantee what I find offensive won't be the same as what you find offensive. And what we find offensive won't be the same as what our neighbor across the street finds offensive. And what is offensive in one society or culture isn't offensive in another society or culture.

Some writers have taken the sanitation of language to the point where all color and flavor of the writing has been removed in this fool's errand of removing anything that could be offensive to any faction of society. In some cases, the writing becomes incredibly bland with a robotic voice (almost like it could have been written by AI). In other cases, it comes across as a bible-thumping exercise in the pious and all-holier-than-thou. It feels like a lecture.

And I just get up and quietly walk away, because I won't be preached at on things that have little consequence.

In reality, those who have something worth saying and are worth listening to won't be afraid to offend others. Good writing makes you think and challenges your views of the world. It makes you think outside of the box… and possibly come to the conclusion that it was wrong to put people into boxes in the first place.

Good writing encourages individualization

So much is going on in the world that it's only natural that we'll encounter those with opposing views on polarizing topics. But instead of running away from it, we should be embracing it.

Most of us avoid conflict in real life, but avoiding conflict within our stories is a recipe for disastrous storytelling. As a writer, you will have strong opinions on certain topics. While you might avoid having those opinions aired on public channels (like on various social media feeds)—and I don't blame you for that reaction—those opinions will still shape the way you approach certain stories. Embracing the knowledge that your stories will never please everyone gives you the freedom to write the stories that are important to you.

I have come to this point where I refuse to sanitize my writing, removing my voice, just because others say I should. I'm going to continue writing (and saying) things in the way that I feel that they need to be said, regardless of what others think.

Treat others as they do onto you. It doesn't mean be an asshole to others because they're being an asshole to you… though I will admit that I might slip into that asshole-to-an-asshole mode if pushed enough. What it really means is to treat others how you expect to be treated yourself.

For me, this means treating people with respect and kindness, and accepting them for who they are… for all of what they are. No boxes, except for perhaps the customized one that gets created in the personal-interactions file cabinet that is my brain. The way I treat others is a function of my Individualization trait shining through strongly.

If a person is kind and respectful to me, even if their language is filled with slang and slurs, I will be kind and respectful in return. I probably wouldn't swear at them all the time, but I know that if I occasionally swear, they won't be offended. They'll just laugh. But I also won't waste my time correcting their language, insisting that they stop swearing, because swearing is clearly a part of who they are.

I guess it's really this last point that I'm trying to get to in a roundabout way.

Stop insisting that I sugarcoat my language just because you have decided to hop onto any one of the politically correct trains.

Don't try to put me in a box that was designed for someone else, because I can guarantee that I'll find a way to burn that box to the ground.