Mental health trumps who is right about events

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There's an old saying: History is written by the victors.

The viewpoint of the history books becomes tainted by the viewpoints of those who wrote them—often those among the victorious. And because the viewpoints are tainted, we often find that the other side of whatever situation is ignored and their experiences lost. We see this time and time again. But we can also see this in our own lives.

Our memories of events become tainted by our emotional responses to those events. And when certain events have lasting consequences, shaping our viewpoints forever, the truth of the events (and our memories) get lost among the emotional responses. Whether it's by way of omission of fact, or by way of having a skewed perspective, when we strip away all the details, we are left with only one truth that we can properly cling to: That the event changed us.

In today's post, I want to explore this idea that every story has two sides to it, but how at the same time, the details of the story are irrelevant. It's the lasting emotional impact that matters. This is especially the case when it comes to depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.

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Letter to Self: Your number one goal is to write!

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A few years ago, I came across this exercise that was about self-reflection for writers, specifically targeting what we thought of ourselves as a writer. We were to write a letter to ourselves, being honest about what we thought about our writing skills. This self-examination was to include any strengths and weaknesses that we might have seen.

Through the exercise, we were supposed to identify what we thought were “weak points” within our writing, so we could start learning and improve… and grow.

I’m a learner at heart. I am always trying to learn that next thing, constantly expanding my skill set. So, taking the time to develop a plan for targeted learning was appealing. So, I wrote a letter to myself and stashed it away in the archives of my computer.

Recently, in going back through my blog notes and other files, I encountered the letter that I wrote to myself back in 2020.

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Woman watching the sunset

Shifting Tactics: Going ALL IN to the Self-Publishing Road

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It wasn't an easy decision. And I've been sitting on the fence for years. I've been watching what is happening within the industry, including on the traditional path, and there were things that made me nervous.

Initially, I had my heart set on certain things, but as time moved on (and my priorities changed), I realized that I was really holding on to certain ideals out of fear. But there were a few things that were just breaking my heart and setting my career plans back further and further, and impacting on my editorial career, too. I just couldn't do it anymore. I had to make a decision to commit properly in one direction or another.

So, I finally made the decision to toss in the towel for the traditional path and go All In for the self-publication road.

As a professional writing coach and developmental editor, I am still highly supportive of those wishing to pursue the traditional publication path. And there are some writers that I have encouraged to take that chance, knowing that "now" is the time for their story in the market. But the decision for publication path needs to be a personal one. And it needs to be a decision that is carefully considered given the truths about all publication options. It needs to be a well-informed decision.

If you are willing to stick around, I'll break it down and hopefully explain why I've made the decision for myself to head down self-publication roads.

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Woman looking at what it means to be diverse.

Has Woke Culture Become Too Much?

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I have been thinking about this for quite some time, trying to understand why film, television, and books seem to be filled with stories that want to push some form of political correctness agenda. They push into the foreground sexual relationships and gender identity issues that seem to have no context or relevance to the story. For me, this is a problem.

Before I get too far, I need to highlight that I deliberated for a long time about whether I should say anything about this on public channels or not. In the end, I decided that this push for diversity has created a gap within storytelling that is harmful to the industry as a whole. As a developmental editor and writing coach, I can't let it go by without it being addressed.

I have zero issue with LGBT+ stories, as long as that sexual orientation is just a part of the character. I adore reading stories about characters from other cultures and different backgrounds, as long as those cultures are put into context. And as far as I'm concerned, the physical appearance of a character almost has no place in written stories, unless there is something significant that has an impact on the way the characters interact (or impacts on the plot). Everything that is on the page (or on the screen) needs to have context.

And in my opinion, that is the heart of the problem. In many stories being produced today (enough to be noticed), the push for diversity is without context within the storytelling.

If you are willing to humor me for a moment, I will explain why context is vital when it comes to diversity in stories.

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Confused Mother

What happened to “communication”?

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As I write this, my husband and I are trying to work with a contractor to get our bathroom renovated. The house was built back in the 1980s, and we're fairly certain that it's the original cabinetry and other bits. The taps and shower head were changed out back in 2005, along with a new shower door, because that is all stuff that my husband and I did back when we bought the house. But now that we don't have "little ones" anymore, it's time to get rid of the dinky bathtub and give the room a bit of a facelift.

So, new shower, new vanity, new toilet, and new GIB on the walls and ceiling… along with new lights, new fan, new heater…

You get the idea.

Well, this entire experience of working with the contractor has opened my eyes to how contractors do business—or more appropriately, how they shouldn't do business. And my biggest gripe: Lack of communication.

Let me give you a bit of history here, so you can see why I'm really getting miffed about this "lack of communication" issue.

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