Letter to my mother…

When my mother was still alive, there were times that I could guarantee that she felt under appreciated. And it was always worse come Mother's Day.

Let's face it. I rarely called, and when I did, the conversations were not something that I wanted to stay engaged for—not for hours on end. And I never visited. For many years, she lived in Auckland while I lived in Christchurch. She and dad did eventually move to the South Island, but even then, it was a 3-hour drive away. It took planning... and I sucked at it. (I still suck at that particular side of things with dad, rarely seeing him.) And I never sent presents or cards.

But I loved my mother dearly. She had such an influence on the way I see the world. One of her many sayings pops into my head on a daily basis. She was always in my thoughts, even if I don't tell her that.

This letter was my pathetic attempt to tell my mother how much she meant to me.

To my mother,

There are so many lessons that you've taught me over the years—so many memories to hold dear.

• Youth is eternal, especially if you have grazed knees.
• Honesty is always the best policy, but be careful of what questions you ask; the details may not be what you expect.
• It's good to be courteous. Let the bigger car have the parking spot.
• Speeding won't get you to your destination any faster. It'll just get you a speeding ticket.
• Fight for what is right, especially when it comes to your children—even if you have to punch a hole through someone's desk.
• Embarrassing your children is not only a privilege. It's mandatory.
• Patience is a virtue, but teenagers will give you grey hairs, especially those learning to drive.

And the most important lesson:

• No matter what I do in this life, you always loved me and were there for me, providing me a steady rock to stand on, even when the ground was literally shaking beneath my feet (earthquakes can do that). It's because of this aspect that I know I have the strength to face whatever life throws at me... though I wish you were still here to celebrate the successes with me.

Even though I hear your voice in my head often, I know I'll be okay.

I love you, mom.

For those of you reading this and wondering what I am talking about with some of those points, you may want to read the post that I first wrote on this blog: Why I Admire My Mother.

My mother passed away in September 2020 as a result of blood-thinning medication she was given after having a heart attack. In New Zealand, it's standard procedure to give heart attack patients a blood-thinning drug if they are outside the radius of one of the treating hospitals for the stent procedure. However, in 1 in 1000 cases, patients will develop a brain bleed as a result of the drug. Trust my mother to be the statistic.

1 in 1000... It defined so much about who she was, both in life and in death. She was unique and rare. 1 in 1000.

(Feature Image: My mother roughly 3 years before she died.)