2026 Theme: Commit to Self

Every year, I encourage the members of my various writing groups to pick a word or a phrase that will be a signpost for their actions (and decisions) for the coming year. The idea is that we often know that there is an aspect of our lives that we want to change (improve) in some way. But instead of making a New Year’s resolution that we forget and ignore, we’re providing our subconscious brains with a mantra that we can repeat over and over, helping to guide our actions.

I started doing this myself back in… I think it was 2016. At first, it was just recognizing an aspect of my personality that seemed to be ingrained into my psyche. The word eventually grew to a short phrase.

10 years later, and I still set a word or a phrase for the coming year. And this year, in a way, I’ve set both.

2026 Phrase: Commit to Self

2026 Word: Self

This year’s word and phrase are not about being selfish. It’s quite the opposite. But they are about realizing that if I don’t take the time to recharge and shut away from the world occasionally, I’m going to burn out. And in certain interactions with others, if I don’t put myself first in the equation, others will continue to walk all over me, taking advantage of my goodwill.

It’s time to take the time to discuss what my 2026 word and phrase mean to me.

Evolution of the Phrase

When I first started with this word-theme idea, my word was protect. I’m a protector by nature. I see an injustice and I need to do something about it. It’s part of the reason why I share my knowledge and experience so freely.

I’ve made mistakes along the way—big mistakes. By sharing my knowledge and experiences with others, I’m giving others the tools they need to avoid the same mistakes I’ve made… and hence protecting them.

But I recognized several years ago that I was giving so much of myself to others (protecting others) that I was forgetting to protect myself. My physical health was deteriorating, my marriage was on the rocks, and I was hiding from my surroundings by diving into my fictional worlds. Meanwhile, certain people were taking advantage of my willingness to help others, and I was spiraling into depression because of it.

Come the end of 2022, I made the active choice the break the cycle. I added a layer of health to my word theme. For two years, I was trying to protect my health. But in 2024, I realized that I was still sitting on the fence about a few things, so I changed my phrase to commit to protecting my health.

This phrase has served me for a year and a bit now, getting the ball rolling. But I’m still giving too much of myself to others. And I feel that some people are just willing to take advantage of that.

Hence, the change in the phrase to commitment to self.

Respect starts with respect of ourselves

Others won’t respect you if you don’t respect yourself. You have to define the boundaries for your relationship with others. You have to put out the energy of how you want others to treat you.

To be frank about it, if you allow others to walk all over you, encroaching on your precious time, they will continue to do it. And when you hit breaking point, it’s incredibly difficult to pull back and reestablish those boundaries.

Unfortunately, I speak from experience here, and I’m still recovering. It was one of the reasons why “protect my health” became my phrase in the first place.

But last year, I noticed that while I was committing to protecting my health, I was losing a part of myself. It sounds odd, but I became so fixated on certain health aspects that I was losing sight of the things that really mattered. And my body decided to force me to hide from the world and focus on rest and recuperation. (Five flu-like illnesses in one winter. It was too much.)

But there were other things going on too (within the household dymanics… things that I don’t want to go into detail about on public channels) that were putting me on the edge of the precipice almost every single day. My anxiety levels were constantly elevated, and there was no escape. It meant that I was constantly irritated with my family—and the smallest of things was setting me off.

You combine the heightened anxiety from the household dynamics to the stress of publishing multiple books within a short period… Yeah, I was not a nice person to be around… and I could see it myself.

But this is why for 2026, I’m committing to self. I’m giving myself permission to feel the way I do about certain situations, and I refuse to let certain people turn their problems into my problems anymore. I refuse to continue to feel trapped in a mess that I can’t escape from. And I’m actively taking steps to just disconnect from the world (and the family) for times when I’m at an all-time low and need to recharge.

In fact, I’m hoping to establish a routine of disconnection and recharge before I’m at the all-time low. But I have to refill the well first—so I can remember what it feels like to feel energized.

I’m pulling back from communities where I was giving so much of myself and getting nothing in return. I’m putting my professional energies into the ventures that I feel most passionate about, servicing my need to share my knowledge and experience with others, but in a way that makes me feel good about it.

But most important is that in 2026, I’m taking steps to refocus my energies on my sense of self. Reconnect with my fictional worlds. Reconnect with reading. Reestablish my meditative practices. Deepen my connection with my physical body. And find ways to just enjoy life.

I’m no longer a spring chicken. I turn 50 this year. My children are grown adults with lives of their own. And my husband and I are looking forward to the time when it will be just the two of us again (unless you want to count the fur-babies, but that’s different).

It’s the next phase of my life and career, but I’m doing it MY WAY and doing things that are RIGHT FOR ME. I’m giving myself permission to put myself first and not let anyone walk all over me anymore. I’m committing to myself.