If you’ve been around on the internet long enough, you have likely received unsolicited messages via direct messaging, be that through social media or email. It seems to be a rite of passage, telling you that your profile is starting to garnish attention. But after you get a few of those messages, you start to see the patterns of those who are pretending to be interested in what you are doing, only to try to sell you something.

I don’t know what it is about the publishing industry, but we seem to accumulate a lot of these. Some of them are obvious scams. And some of them are from people who are just starting out in whatever support role they have chosen to take on board to support writers. But those who are starting down the new business road, they clearly don’t understand marketing or how their tactics are making them look like a smarmy used-car salesman.

In today’s post, I want to discuss this type of marketing tactic and explain why it reeks of a scammer. And I want to explain why we should avoid using it ourselves, regardless of what we’re selling (be that books or services).

The Private Message Marketing Tactic

Back in the days before the internet existed (and yes, I’m old enough to remember such a time), one might go from business to business with the CV or resume in hand, trying to get in to see someone who might be willing to hire you. For businesses trying to garner clients, they might pick up the phone and do the “cold call”. Instead of using the phone or pounding the streets, one might have used snail mail, sending carefully crafted letters along with the CV.

Hey, I remember using these tactics myself when I was in university, trying to get my first summer job as an engineer. And it worked too. But the reason it worked was because I was upfront and honest about what it was I was “cold calling” about, and I showed interest in what the businesses were doing.

The introduction of the internet has moved this kind of “cold calling” into email and social media private messaging. But it has also invited the lack of research and genuine connection. So, now we get these short messages with some random tidbit that an automated system has scraped from our profiles “inserted” into the text (and sometimes not even that). The message is designed to give a false impression of interest. If the recipient bites, it’s followed up with automated canned responses—and eventually the sales pitch.

The upfront nature has almost completely vanished, and the genuine connection has been morphed into something that makes people feel like shit for wasting their time.

Why the Tactic Fails

Some time ago, I posted a public message on Facebook and Instagram about the direct message marketing tactic and how it peeves me off.

In many current uses of the “cold calling” tactic, it has morphed into something that starts with a false interest in what I might be doing, without doing any research into what I actually do, followed by canned responses showing more false interest, and eventually leading to the sales pitch.

It’s not the sales pitch that pisses me off. It’s the false interest.

Pretending that you’re interested in what a person has to say, only to respond in canned answers, diminishes a person’s voice and makes them feel icky. And if you follow that up with the sales pitch, be it “buy my book” or “buy my services” (and I have gotten both), you instantly destroy any trust that might have been present. All you were doing with that sales pitch is proving that you don’t value the person that you’re trying to sell things to. All they are to you is a money cow.

For anyone using this particular marketing tactic for legit businesses, know right now that I am not your client, and it is highly unlikely that I ever will be. The false interest leaves a sour taste in my mouth, and that is not a good place to build any working relationship from.

I value genuine connection with those I work with. I value respect. And sending me a message of false interest, in a pathetic attempt to veil the real reason why you’re reaching out to me, is not showing me respect.

The Smarmy Communication Pattern

When I get random messages showing some sort of interest in my work, I won’t just delete the message. I might question if the message is from a smarmy salesperson, but there have been times when it was a prospective client who wasn’t quite ready to take the step in hiring my services. (They wanted to “get to know me” first. And I can respect this attitude.) So, I often respond to the questions that were asked, being polite and respectful.

However, I carefully look at the response… and that’s when I see the smarmy communication pattern start.

The responses are normally sugary-sweet, saying things like, “Oh, that’s so interesting,” or “Thank you for your thoughtful response.” And there’s my favorite demeaning canned statement: “That is so smart.” There are a few other canned responses that reek of automation, but I can’t think of any more off the top of my head. (Maybe that’s because I’m a human and not an AI system.) But regardless of how the sugary complement is made, it is normally followed up by some generic question that seems to have no direct relevance to either what I had already said (in my initial response) or to my work.

And my spidey senses go off.

If the person has caught me on a “good” day, I might entertain the conversation for another response or two, but more often than not, that conversation devolves into something that is obviously false interest, with responses that are not crafted to be unique or engaging. They are only trying to string me on.

On a “good” day, I’ll just bail from the conversation. On a “bad” day, I’ll call them out on their bullshit.

And ironically, when I go back to look at the conversation at some later point (particularly if it came through Bluesky DMs), the offending account has been deleted. Clearly, they tried the tactic with multiple users and got their accounts reported as a scam.

But that’s the entire point that I’m trying to make here.

This tactic reeks of a scam. Anyone using this tactic for genuine businesses is doing so at their peril.

But It’s Authors Doing This Too

It’s not just from service providers that I see this kind of smarmy marketing. I have also seen it from independent self-published authors too.

The conversation will start in a slightly different fashion, but it still reeks of false interest. And those conversations devolve so quickly into the “check out my book” statements, along with a link (often to Amazon).

It’s like the author in question is trying to garner a review without actually asking for it.

And to those conversation, I politely bow out, often with the statement of, “I’ll check it out when I have time.” Never mind that I never have time—deliberately so.

Here’s the deal regarding this particular kind of interaction with a writer: I never leave reviews on fiction—anywhere. If I’ve encountered a fiction novel that I’ve enjoyed (often recommended to me by a writing buddy… or a recent release from an author I enjoy reading), then I will recommend the book, showcasing the cover on my social media. But I never leave reviews. Not for fiction.

(And FYI, I don’t read memoirs, so don’t bother trying this tactic with a memoir either.)

There is a reason why I never offer to be an ARC reader for my writing buddies—and they know this. We’ve had conversations about it! I will occasionally offer to beta read for one of them, but I never offer to beta read for a complete stranger. I’m a professional developmental editor and writing coach, peeps. Why would I offer to give away my services for free to a complete stranger who did a “cold call” looking for reviews?

I will review nonfiction, particularly resources for writers. Hell, I run a book club dedicated to this kind of book. But those reviews are carefully crafted to highlight the things that the target audience for the book might benefit from. And the books selected have never come from a “cold call”. In fact, if you “cold call” a book that happens to meet the criteria of the books I will review, it’s likely to never get selected—mainly because I don’t trust the source the book came from.

The Best Marketing Builds Trust

The only “cold marketing” tactic that works is one that fosters trust and honesty. It comes from a place of respect for all parties involved.

Think about the communications needed when looking for a job. In those cover letters, you need to detail why you are contacting the person, highlighting the unique things about the person (or company) that attracted you to them. You then need to explain what you can offer them and why you are the right person to meet the unique needs of the person (or company) that you are trying to garner work from.

Those cover letters are upfront and honest about what you are seeking, but they also foster genuine connection, because they show that you’ve done your research. The same is needed whenever “cold calling” marketing tactics are used, regardless of the communication form.

Don’t ever try to veil your true intentions behind false interest.

And by the way, if a person has asked for recommendations, then they have opened the door to those conversations, and it’s no longer “cold calling”. But those initial communications still need to show genuine interest and explain upfront why you are reaching out to the person. Set those expectations in that initial message (regardless of the platform you use for that message—social media or email).

The Price of Recognition

I know that as I become more and more prominent within my sector of the publishing industry, my platform will attract more of the scammers and the smarmy marketers. But guess what, all of them will be met with the same response in the end: Delete.

To anyone who is using the false interest smarmy marketing tactic to garner work, please know that you will quickly find a blacklist and will not get work from me. You are not the type of person I want to work with.