Social Media: Is it the end of society?

Walking through the mall and heading to the grocery store, one thing has become blatantly obvious to me: smartphones are everywhere. And it's not just the youth.

Some years back (when my daughter was in her early teens), my husband, my daughter, and I decided to enjoy a nice lunch out together. At the table next to us was a couple in their 60s, and both of them were busy texting—or doing whatever—on their smartphones. Even my daughter commented on how they weren't talking to one another.

"Don't they like talking with one another, mum?"

I just shrugged in response and continued on with my conversation with my husband.

But that interaction got me thinking. Are smartphones and social media the end of our society?

The internet bridges the gap

There is no doubt about it, the internet has definitely changed our lives. This is something that I've spoken about a few times now over the years, but to call it the end of our society might be a little harsh. If anything, the internet has made our world smaller, helping nations bridge the gap caused by the oceans between us.

Through Facebook, I can easily keep in touch with my family in the USA and Netherlands. Through Instagram and Bluesky, I'm able to communicate with other writers throughout the world, in the USA, Australia, UK, and Canada. Through programs like Zoom, I can speak with clients and friends face to face—there's just a computer screen between us. And through the various video reels and other video sharing methods, close family and friends are able to watch my daughter's dancing fun that they would have missed otherwise. (And damn, that girl has gotten sooo strong and can really control her body movements and isolations.) All of this has been made possible because of the internet.

No, the internet is not the problem.

The issue revolves around smartphones and the culture that is developing that thinks it's acceptable to walk around with your nose pointed downward at a screen.

Already, nations throughout the world have passed laws that make it illegal to talk on the phone or text message while driving; you must use a hands-free kit. This is a good, positive change in the right direction. However, is there more that needs to be done?

In my mind, the legal stance on smartphone usage should be limited to situations that are a matter of public safety, such as driving. However, the usage of smartphones in restaurants and in a crowd should fall to peer-pressure.

If the crowd finds it acceptable, then fine. However, I find it incredibly rude when I'm having lunch with someone that I haven't seen for some time and they spend the entire time tapping out messages on their phone.

Some people would say that my attitude is old and fuddy-duddy, that I'm opposed to technology. That way of thinking couldn't be further from the truth. Let's face it, I wouldn't be on Facebook, Instagram, Bluesky, or have this blog otherwise.

No, I like my smartphone. I love the ability to take pictures whenever I'm out, sharing them with my overseas family and friends. I love having my favorite songs at my fingertips. However, when I'm in public, having lunch with a friend or family, my attention is devoted to my company and the food that I'm eating, not my phone.

It's called respect and courtesy for those around me. And it's this that I believe that is slowly dying.

How I taught my children to be present in conversations

As a mother, I have done the best I can to ensure that my children know that there is a time and place for everything that they do. I have taken steps to ensure that they understand the dangers of this internet world, ensuring that they know that everything they post online could come back and haunt them. And they know that when having a meal with me (when out and about), that I expect that phone to be in their pocket or bag and not looked at while enjoying each other's company. (That said, I'm willing to accept that sometimes, a phone call is important. Hubby is often "on call" and needs to take that phone call to help mitigate the crisis that is brewing, before the plant blows up.)

Both of my children have had smartphones for years, but before I agreed to pay the bill, they had to give me a valid reason as to why they might need one. They both did, and for both of them it was a similar excuse: cycling home from school and they get a flat tire, they needed the ability to call me and tell me that they were going to be late. But I wanted to ensure that they understood that technology was a tool to help us, not a crutch to take away our ability to actually communicate with one another.

And during our dinner time when they were growing up, it was often the whole family eating together (when extra-curricular activities allowed). Electronics were off and we actually talked to one another. This practice migrated to when we're out and about. We communicated, without the internet to help us.

Will smartphones and the internet kill society? Only if we let it. It's up to us to define what is acceptable in social settings and what's not.