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#DigitalDetox Challenge 2: Write someone a letter

So… It turns out that not only am I obsessed with minimizing the influence that social media and the internet have on my daily life, but I’m also incredibly busy that I forget to take just a few short minutes to do the simple things.

This week’s #DigitalDetox challenge was to write someone a letter. You would think that for a writer, this one would be simple. But the truth was a bitter pill to take.

I had colored in the picture for the challenge, and… Yeah… Um… That is sort of where it ended. I had allowed my busy schedule and my interactions with others to take over, and when it came time to recharge… Well… I binge watched Friends on Netflix.

So, there were a few lessons to learn from this week’s experience.

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#DigitalDetox Challenge 1: Walk with no technology

I’ll admit it: I’m a little obsessed with my over usage of social media and the internet in general. It goes beyond a need to understand everything regarding security on the internet. It’s mainly because I know how much of a time suck that social media can be.

And my obsession isn’t just because of myself alone. I see within my husband and children how technology (namely the games and Netflix) are designed to be additive. And when I see my family struggling to get enough sleep because of the addictive nature of devices, I’m going to take active steps to try to do something out it.

I have tried multiple times to put the family on Device-Free days, only for the idea to fail abysmally. And in all my attempts, there is one thing that I have learned: I can’t control the actions of the other adults (and even though my youngest is 16 years old, she’s effectively an adult). BUT, I can make other adults feel guilty when they see the results of the minimal device usage life.

For that to have the impact I want it to have, I need to get my own dependance on devices and the internet under control.

To that end, I have started a #DigitalDetox challenge.

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Understanding My Strengths

For as long as I can remember, I have always tried to understand who I am and what I’m good at. And I’ve always tried to learn more about the things that interest me so I can be good at those things. My pursuit of knowledge was just one of the things that made me me. So much so that my mother called me her professional student when I had enrolled for a PhD.

The word overachiever is no doubt blinking in spiritual neon lights above my head. And I was obsessed with getting straight A. Totally obsessed. I was the kid who wasn’t allowed to do homework when I got home from school. Nope, I had to go out and play first. And come a certain time at night, those school books were taken away from me. I wasn’t allowed to study anymore.

My husband is constantly reminding me of how I would totally freak out before a university exam, stressing about this formula or that, only to walk out of the exam with top marks. (We were in the same graduating class for engineering. That was how we met.)

But my obsession with learning and striving for the best I can achieve is not something that I like doing by myself. I prefer it when I’m able to encourage others to join me on my journey—and sometimes, I drag people along kicking and screaming.

But I have another talent that I have exploited my adult life in every job that I’ve ever had. I have this innate ability to explain complex ideas in a way that everyone can understand. It’s something that comes from my days in university, when my mother would be the sounding board I needed to wrap my head around some of the more complex physics concepts. If I could explain it to her, then I understood it. And when I was stuck, she would often say something completely bizarre that would unlock the thing that was confusing me.

I say this all jokingly because I know exactly who I am. I know my little quirks and my family love me for them. So, when I decided to take a CliftonStrengths® test, I laughed at when I saw what my top five strengths were:

  1. Learner
  2. Individualization
  3. Achiever
  4. Activator
  5. Relator

But perhaps I should take a step back and explain what all of that means.

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The Power of a Name

Within my writing circles, discussions about pen names have come up frequently of late. I guess it’s because many of my writing buddies are turning their attention to self-publishing, and many of them have one reason or another to not want to use their real name.

In fact, if I think about it—I mean really think about it—none of my writing buddies publish under their real names. For one writer, it’s because she wants to separate her publishing from her real life (so her students can’t find her online). Another wants to protect her children from what could become negative backlash if other parents work out the connection between the two names. For another, it’s because she wants to separate her fiction from her nonfiction. And for another, it’s because their day job would be at risk if their employer ever worked out the truth about the nature of their fictional writing.

Regardless of the reason, it’s always interesting to see how others come to the conclusion about what name they want to publish under.

And for me… I laughed at myself when I discovered that I had made the decision about my pen name back when I was just starting high school.

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A Mindset Shift for 2021

2020 has been a year that many of us would like to forget. So many bad things have happened throughout the year on the global stage and for many people, it was a struggle to see the positive, even though we were hunting for it. But when I look back at 2020, I don’t see the total doom and gloom that others might see. I see opportunity to change things for the better, and I worked hard to snag those opportunities.

Sure, COVID-19 has a lot to answer for, but we saw SpaceX Falcon 9 send a manned Dragon into space! And I’m still in awe over those spacesuits. They were definitely something right out of science fiction.

The internet world became more connected on a global level. Because of it, for the first time, I was able to attend some amazing international conferences—including one on cybersecurity—from the comfort of my home office chair.

On the personal front, I lost my mother this year, due to a rare side effect from a common drug. But I’ve been forced to slow down—thank you, lockdowns—and I’ve been able to reflect on life around me. And there is mom’s voice in the deep reaches of my mind telling me to reach for my dreams. “Turn Can’t into Watch Me!

2020 might have been a shit year globally, but for the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m on my true path.

If you will indulge me for a bit, I’ll share with you how the crazy has led to clarity.

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Being a writer and editor with dyslexia

I have dyslexia, diagnosed at the age of nine with two separate forms. Reading was incredibly difficult, but I learned to adapt. And I refuse to let it label me as something I’m not.

When people learn that I have dyslexia, it often comes as a bit of surprise. I am a writer and a professional editor, after all. I spend a lot of time behind the computer or with my nose stuck in a book. So, it’s not totally out of the realm of possibility that someone would question my career choice when they hear the truth about my history.

There is still a lot of negative stigma surrounding dyslexia, but what people don’t realize is that the majority of the people on the planet have one form or another of dyslexia—but they just don’t know it.

For most people, their form is so weak that they were able to easily compensate. However, for approximately 15% of American children [1], for 30 to 50% of prisoners around the world [2], the dyslexic forms are severe enough to cause significant issues.

Today, a friend of mine, Beth Beamish, is releasing a book about what it’s like to be a parent of a dyslexic child, with practical advice on how parents can help their children through this.

Dyslexia is not a disease. It’s just a different way of seeing the world.

To help Beth Beamish spread the word about her book, I thought it might be a good idea to share my own story, highlighting that having dyslexia doesn’t stop you from following your dreams, whatever those dreams might be.

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