Tag Archives: self doubt

Don’t ask about the published works. Ask about the work-in-progress.

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I became serious about publication of fiction back in 2013, starting the process about learning everything that I can about what it was really going to take to publish fiction. In 2015, I chose to retrain as an editor. And every single day since I opened up for business, there has been this underlining doubt.

How can I prove that I know what I'm talking about when I'm haven't got the proof in the pudding?

Every time I encounter a writer who is focused on books that I've published, I find myself in a position where I have to defend my choices, which is something I shouldn't have to do. And when I get accused of being a hack because very few of my clients are published, I get defensive of my clients and want to go in for the attacks.

I thought I had come to terms with my demons and had developed strategies to get past them so I could do my job. However, a recent interaction via Instagram brought all the insecurities flooding back, making me question all of my choices—yet again.

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Did I kill my story by having the police in it?

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Back in 2017, I finally started penning my first crime thriller. The idea had been whizzing around in my head for some time, but finally enough of the pieces had clunked together and I was ready to tell the story of Veronica (a wannabe thriller writer who fell into the middle of the one serial killer case that could mean her own death). I had the opening sequence and the final scene written, and I knew the key moments in the middle, so off I went.

Two full years to write that thing, and a lot of self-discovery about the type of writer I am. I learnt so much about my writing process, and I learnt a lot about what it would take to survive as a writer in this highly uncertain business. (Hint: Perseverance is the key.)

I worked with a developmental editor to make the story top-notch, and come August 2019, I began the query process for that manuscript. I was extremely proud of what I had produced. (I still am.)

Then 2020… and the panic set in.

The story centers around the homicide unit with the Atlanta PD. With the current animosity towards US-based police, was this a fatal mistake? And if it was, how was I to know back in 2017 when I first started writing the manuscript that the entire world would go topsy-turvy in 2020? Hell, how was I to know that in 2019 when I started querying it?

But the more important question: Should I even worry?

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